Risen From the Dark
by Hitsugayalover12
Summary: Karidi is searching for something,she knows what it is but he doesn't. She posses something she doesn't know a thing about. Can she live through it? HitsugayaXOC
1. Open Door

Risen From the Dark

The pebbles on the ground went flying ahead of my feet as every step pounded on the dirt ground.

"My first day and I am already late!" I yelled at myself because my feet weren't moving fast enough. I rushed through the crowded streets of the rukongai dodging obstacles and people. My hakama was loose and flowing in the wind behind as I ran. The sun was bright in my hazel eyes. They were about the same shade as my hair that was in a half-up half-down style with loose bangs hanging in my eyes as usual. Soon I made it to the Court of Pure Souls. Today was my first day as part of the 13 Gotei squads. I honestly never pictured myself in this position a couple years ago but I'm here and I am going to give it my all. But today wasn't just my first day. Today I met my Captain. I was as nervous as hell. The old man's, sorry, General Yamamoto's words were racing through my head.

" You've come this far but if you want to turn back speak up. As a 13 Gotei squad member you will do everything in your power to fulfill the missions you will be given even if cost your life. Are we clear?" He asked. I don't know why he doesn't retire already he is getting so old.

"Yes sir!" I shouted. My knees began to hurt from kneeling on the stone ground so long. General stood up and handed me my ticket into the squad. Finally all the work I have done is paid off. I finally made it.

"Now rise new lieutenant of squad 10." Those words were like gold. I tied the lieutenant's badge around my arm with pride. To others it's just a badge with my name on it but to me it's who I am and a symbol of how much I have worked to be something. Always and forever that's what I wanted, to be something. I honestly would have said no if someone asked me to be the lieutenant of another captain besides Hitsugaya. Hitsugaya was someone that I have always admired. But I admired no one as much as I admire Ichigo Kurosaki. After Aizen's betrayal I barely became a freshmen at the soul reaper academy. I only got the privilege of laying my eyes on him once. When I did see him I was in the hallways of the academy going to another class. He was there on official business. We crossed each other's paths and his spiritual pressure was so strong it made head hurt. He looked down at me and smiled. From then on he became my idol. I wanted to be just like him. I wanted to be strong, courageous, undying, and have a good heart. I could never shake off the urge to be like him. _Shikata ga nai._ It couldn't be helped. I had to be like him. I had to.


	2. Meet the fuzzball

I slipped off my shoes and stood in front of Captain Hitsugaya's door. Anxiety was taking over and my heart was racing. This is it. I knocked on the door slightly waiting for the signal to walk in.

"Who is it?" called the young boyish voice.

"It's me captain, your new lieutenant." My voice was shaking. Don't do anything stupid. Don't do anything stupid. I kept reminding myself to say the same speech I said about a dozen times in front of the mirror.

"Enter." He ordered. OK Karidi don't screw anything up. I slid the door open and immediately bowed to him. When I came back up I studied him. I knew what he looked like but somehow he looked different. His white hair looked as if he just rolled out of bed (which he probably did). His height wasn't a big problem since I'm pretty short too so I was only a little taller then him. And his eyes- those eyes were breathtaking. I felt my cheeks turn red hot so I looked down. He must think I'm an idiot.

"Are you going to tell me your name or what?" He asked impatiently. Great start Karidi. I hate when I space out like that.

"Yes, my name is umm, umm Sasaki, Karidi." I don't think he heard me. My voice was so small and meek. I'm not usually like that. I'm normally the total opposite but I was so freaking nervous. He let out a small chuckle. His arms crossed at his chest and he smiled. But it wasn't a good smile.

"You seem so weak. It's a wonder how you even got suggested for this job. If you can't even tell me your own name how are you going to be useful to me?" Great I screwed it up!

"Well Captain I'm nervous and I'm much stronger but I-I-" I tried to prove him wrong but he cut me off.

"Shut up!" He walked over to me and whispered in my ear. His breath was cold and it tickled my it." You'll never replace Rangiku. Now get out." I did exactly what he ordered and I slammed the door behind me. I was so humiliated in there. Out of all the Captains I wanted him. God I'm such an idiot! I stormed through the streets. Where I was going I didn't know. But I needed to be alone. I was too pissed off to realize that someone was about to run into me if I didn't move. My head thumped against his chest which sent me a few steps back.

"Watch it you little cree-" he stopped as his eyes drifted to my badge. I looked up at his weird colored hair. His head looked like a pineapple and his eyebrows were really strange. But the tattoos across his chest were so cool. They made him seem tough. "I'm sorry lieutenant. I didn't recognize you. Aren't you captain Hitsugaya's new lieutenant?" He asked.

"Sadly yes." I replied annoyed. It was on my badge. I don't know why he didn't just read it.

"He gave you a rough time?" I nodded my head. No shit.

" Eh he will come around. He's still grieving over his lost lieutenant. It's a shame she died. They made a great team. I still can't believe she's gone." I remember when it happened. It was all over the soul society. Masumoto's death. I never really got the real story but I knew that she was found in the human world. Her body sprawled over the ground in a puddle of blood. I actually saw Gin out of coincidence the day her death came back to the soul society. I watched as his always smiling face turned into a frown and sorrow. I know that Gin betrayed us along with Aizen but he came back later to plead innocent saying he was under Aizen's hypnotism from the beginning to make it look like he agreed to be his subordinate. I knew it was a bunch of crap but for some reason they let Gin back into the soul society and let him keep his Captain position. That was a big mistake. But Masumoto's death was the reason I'm Captain Hitsugaya's lieutenant. I filled her spot as a mere graduate of the academy. His third seat would have filled her seat but Hitsugaya made it clear that he was not ready to take that position so they searched for the best person to fill it. And they picked me. I came back from my zone out

"Yeah Renji. Let's hope he does come around. " I walked away, leaving him standing in the middle of the street staring back at me.


	3. Keep your chin up

**Thanks for the views and reviews. It really boosted my confidence a lot. New chapters won't be uploaded till I don't know when but not very soon. Thanks for reading.**

** 3 rain,(Hitusgayalover12)**

There was this one tree that stood in the middle of the practice field of the academy. I always went there to think, to set my mind straight. There were a lot of things that I thought of when I sat in that tree. I came from the 77th district of the rukongai which was one of the poorest. I had no family whatsoever. I never knew them or what happened to them, but I was left alone in the streets all my childhood. I was like Renji and Rukia, but I didn't have friends to cope with my situation like they did. I lived in hunger, pain and loneliness. I lived alone and I only looked out for myself. I tried my best to survive. Well my best was all that I needed to survive. Everything was a test of survival and everything was difficult. But things got better after he came along, Captain Ukitake.

I was sitting on the porch of a house when the owner chased me off. Of course that was typical when they saw a street kid like me. Pissed off, I picked up a rock to throw at the window but somebody's hand stopped my arm from throwing it.

"Come on now there isn't any need for that. Put the rock down."Uktiake said. I knew who he was so I did as he said and I threw the rock down. "You know by the muscles I touched in your hand I can tell your pretty strong for a someone as small as you."

"I'm not little! I'm almost as tall as Captain Hitsugaya of squad 10!"I screamed at him. I hate when people call me short.

"Well no offense to Captain Hitsugaya but he is kinda short."He said with a smile. I had to smile to.

"Shouldn't you be in the Court of Pure Souls doing some shinigami stuff. I bet more you have important stuff to do then talking to a simple street kid."I put my head down in shame. It was true. He stroked the back of my head and knelt down.

" I am doing shinigami stuff, but I noticed I sensed spiritual pressure coming from somebody. So I came to investigate. And what do you know that person is you."He explained. My eyes widened at the sentence he just spoke. It was as if he was lying to my face.

"If your gonna lie to me make it a good lie."I crossed my arms at my chest. I'm smart enough to know that I'm not capable of spiritual pressure.

"I'm not lying. I sware I can feel it."He pleaded once more. " Have you ever considered becoming a shinigami?"

"No. Why would I? I'm not capable of anything you can do like kido or wielding a zanpacto."

"Well you never know unless you try." His smile convinced me. Later that day he told me I was to start my freshmen year in the fall. A few days before that Aizen betrayed us. Everything after that fell into place. I trained myself so hard. Sometimes I had to force myself to get out of bed even though the pain was unbearable. I trained myself to death to get where I am today. But even when I got this badge I knew this journey was far from over.

I stared out at the scenery that was laid out in front of me. The pond water was clear and the trees were covered with freshly bloomed sakura. It was so peaceful till he came along.

"Hey Karidi!" yelled my old squad member from the academy Tadashi Hiroshi. He was currently a 6th seat in squad 6.

"Don't you know how to leave me alone!" I yelled back at him.

"Nope, because you are just so memorizing I couldn't dare to stay away from you. It would be like ripping my heart out and feeding it to the Gods of pain." I hate when he says stupid jokes like that. They sound so cheesy.

"Don't make me hurt you." I waved a fist in his face. Me and Tadashi have been friends for 4 years, but it felt like we have been friends our whole lives. No matter what he has had my back through everything. Especially when I was in trouble.

"So how did it go?" He asked curiously.

"Not so good. Tadashi I don't know maybe I'm just not cut out for this job like we said I was. Maybe I'm not good enough to be his lieutenant."

"Are you kidding me?! Your one of the best soul reapers I have ever seen!!" His voice sounded as if he was a little boy watching the fireworks blow up and change colors in the night sky.

"Your just saying that cause it's me." I said and put my chin in my palms. I was so depressed.

"Oh come on. Don't give me the sad face. Your gonna hurt my feelings if you do." He gave me his puppy dog eye. That got me every time. I smiled at him.

"Now that's better. Well I gotta head off before Captain Kuchiki has a heart attack because I'm late." He slid down the tree and began to walk away.

"Hey Tadashi!" I called after him. The corner of his eye caught me and I smiled. "Thanks." He nodded and took off. No one could ever replace Tadashi. He was my best friend and no one in the living world, our world, or any other worlds that we didn't know of could change that.


	4. Hoping for hope

**My sincere apologies that I haven't put new chapters up in months. I wanted to get farther into the story in actual writing. New chapters will be uploaded! Read! Reviews! It's gonna be good! 3, Rain**

The next few weeks in the 10th division were like songs on the radio that never changed. Everyday I would be angry with Toshiro because he treated me like crap. He would be mad because I would back-talk him and be uncooperative, so he gave me more things to do and I would be unhappy about it. Nothing changed. I didn't hope for this. I didn't want this. The days as his lieutenant were supposed to be glorious. I was wrong.

Toshiro missed Rangiku more and more but he knew there was nothing to bring her back. Now he was stuck with this girl with a bad attitude. When he picked her, he thought things would be different. Things should have been better. It was too late to change her to another squad now.

The morning was started out as routine. I got up, grabbed an origini* and went to go get my daily hell chores. Without knocking as usual, I entered into his office and took a stack of files that was already signed and approved on his desk, replaced them with another stack and was beginning to walk out the door to deliver the ready files without him even glancing up but something today did change. I was taking a bite of my origini with the file under my arm and one hand opening the door when Toshiro called my name. I almost got caught unbalanced. _Is he going crazy?_

"Come here," he ordered. I almost protested but if today I had a chance to do something different, I would take it. Shoving the remaining clump of breakfast into my mouth, I walked over to the front of his desk and eagerly waited for him to speak.

"I need this files delivered directly to Kuchki-taicho*. Not his lieutenant. Directly to Kuchki." He repeated as if I couldn't comprehend. I guess some things don't change that dramatically in two minutes. Handing me the files he looked up at me, his eyes that caught my breath in my throat locked with mine for the first time in a week or two.

"Please don't show him the disrespect you give me," The fact that he said please was a good enough reason to make me gawk at him but for him to not bark it in a sharp tone added some more emphasis on that reaction. Regaining my composure I gave a quick smile and almost too bubbly said,

"With pleasure," I seemed a little springy when I left his office and headed to the 6th squad barracks. Maybe things were going to look up. And maybe just maybe, I would get the glory days of being the 10th squad lieutenant that I wanted.

Something told me to look back at Toshiro. I did. And what I saw burned my hope a little brighter. He was shaking his head, continuing his paperwork. But what caught my attention was the small but noticeable smile on his face that gave away the thought;_ maybe he's thinking the same thing._

"What do you mean he can't see me, Renji?" I was becoming impatient. After I arrived in the squad 6 barracks, I had to ask three different people for the Captain's office. When I got there, Renji wouldn't let me in.

"He's not taking any visitors today." He said calmly and leaned against the hallway that was a few feet from Kuchki's office. I had the files in my hand and I slammed them into Renji's chest. He looked down into the hard stack of papers crammed into his chest and then met my eyes. He was amused.

" Look I don't have the time for this crap! Just tell him I'm going in and open the damn door! Orders from **my** Captain!" Slyly grinning, he shrugged and started down the hall. Before knocking on the door, he glanced back at me and said,

"Why didn't you just say so?" Sweat rolled down my forehead which was creasing in anger. I waited, tapping my foot against the floor as I listened to the mumbling of their voices. _That jerk. I only met him once and he's acting like a jerk!_ My attention turned back down the hallway and I saw Renji slipping through the door mumbling under his breath. I guess not all the squad lieutenants get along with their Captain's. His eyes lit up a slight bit as he saw my still angry face.

"He'll see you now,"

" Yeah I noticed," I rolled my eyes at him and brushes past him as I made my way to the door. He called my name when I stood just outside. I turned back around and his smile turned from a wolfish grin, to a genuine smile.

"I'm mean to all the newbie's. Get used to it." In Renji-world that's probably his way of apologizing, explaining his reasons. People like Renji, people like me don't have the heart to be cruel but we don't have the softness to let others see our kindness. We show it in weird ways but we show it, that is what really counts. Outsiders are subject to that trait. I know Renji's story. I feel for him because he lived a life similar to mine. But the hard truth was I had no one to get through life with but myself. He had Rukia. I had my shadow. Renji was trying to tell me, he didn't want me to be an outsider to me and if he seemed mean not to take it to heart because he meant well. He's going to let me in as a friend and fellow lieutenant. I can try to do the same. But I don't know the outcome.

This time Renji walked away, leaving me standing in the middle of the hallway, staring back at him.

"Enter," Kuchki called from behind the office door. Doing as told I stepped into his office which was much like Hitsuagaya's but the sofa was missing and replaced with a small table accompanied by two antique-ish chairs. Probably old family furniture. There was one thing I noticed about his office. Kuchki was a neat freak. Everything was well organized and alphabetized compared to Toshiro's office. _Any office is neater then Histugaya's._ Book shelves lined the walls with one in back and one to each side so it looked like he was in an open box of books. His desk was there, plain but elegant with an organized top filled with papers that were also organized. _OCD much?_ He cleared his throat and I stopped my sightseeing. The room was very dim. The only light was from under the crack of the door, the semi-opened blinds of the window that was in a cut-out square of the book shelf behind him and a lit lamp that wasn't doing a very good job of lighting. I focused on his face and waited for my vision to acustom to the dark. When they did, his hair almost blended in the dark except for the shining of the silver lining in the black. (I have no idea what those silver tubes in his hair are XD) He was sitting without slouching. His head wasn't bent over his work, only his eyes looked down. Typical noble behavior.

"Kuchki-taicho. Sasaki, Karidi desu*, Squad 10 lieutenant," I bowed and when I straightened back up his eyes were on me, studying me. Unlike Toshiro, his eyes were empty, hallow. I looked away and settled my eyes on the files in my hand.

"Bring them to me," He said. Like his eyes, his voice was emotionless yet calm. I shuffled to his desk and struggled to find a place to set the files down. He put his hand out, palm open wide. I set them in his hand, brushing his covered-palm slightly. He placed them to other side of him. He was about to go back to working but he stopped, put his pen down and scooted his chair back a little to look at me as I walked back to stand before his desk.

" Karidi-san?" I nodded my head, gesturing for him to go on.

" How is squad 10? Everything going alright?" I was about to tell him that everything was fine but Kuchki wasn't someone that you could lie to.

"Not really. Things are rough for my Captain and we try to get along but…it's not really working," He kept his blank eyes on me. I wondered what he was thinking up there.

" I know you're a strong girl Karidi. I would have placed you in my own squad but Hitsugaya got to you first. And lieutenant, that's a big position."

"I can handle it," My tone had a streak of emotion in it. For a split second I saw a glimpse of something in his eye but it faded as quickly as it came.

" We'll see about that." He looked back down at his papers and began working again."Your dismissed," I turned to leave. Kuchki looked up.

"Karidi-san," I glanced over my shoulder at him.

" A captain without the trust and assurance of his lieutenant can be his downfall. The lack of respect and encouragement from a Captain can make the lieutenant care a little less about watching their captain's back." I wonder if this was Renji and his somewhat relationship. " Don't let that happen to your squad. He can't afford for his squad to fall apart again. If you really try, he'll try too," I gawked at him. Kuchki doesn't usually act like this. Kuchki rarely talks at all. But the fact that he would do something out of the ordinary to reassure me made me feel important and not a complete failure. I try to keep my emotions hidden from people, sometimes it works, sometimes it backfires. Letting people see my weak is a thing I can't stand. I grew up teaching myself to be strong, to be a survivor. Emotions get you nowhere when you grow up like I did. But I was here. I was a lieutenant for Squad 10. I had a few friends. I wasn't alone anymore. I didn't have to hide myself from the world because I thought no one wanted to see me. I mattered here. I smiled at him and continued my action of walking out of the door and headed back to the squad 10 barracks with the satisfaction that I was making an effort to set things right.

Byakuya watched her leave and sat there staring into space for awhile. _She has a story. But a new one will be made.._ Regaining his posture, he continued his work but this time his eyes seemed a little brighter then when before Karidi entered his office.

Kuchki: Don't think that just because I talked to her you get to make this a ByakuyaXOC

Me: Why would I do that ? I don't even like you that much!

Kuchki: I'm your number 3 in your 10 hottest bleach guys

Me:….That doesn't mean anything! *cheeks turn red*

Kuchki: *smiles slightly*

Me: *fights fan girl squeal*

Kuchki: *runs a hand through his hair and strikes a pose*

Me: AAHHHHHHH KAWAII!!! *glomps byakuya*

Kuchki: NO! NOT THE GLOMP!!

XD!!

Origini: Rice ball. Food in Japan

Taicho: Captain

Desu: roughly means "I'm" Ex: Rain desu ( I'm rain)

NEW CHAPTERS WILL BE OUT SOON!!!! REVIEW PLEASE! READ! I NEED SOME OF EVERYTHING!!! 3, RAIN


	5. Shattered

After a long day it felt good to just lie down on the couch in Hitsugaya's office. This luxurious privilege was only available to the lieutenant. Only I was allowed to hang out in his office. Normally I would have never done it and just go to my own room, but over the past few days I took Byakuya's advice, I tried to get along. Toshiro was very curious about my sudden change in attitude but he didn't ask about it. Typical. Yesterday he even let me go with him to Mayuri-taicho's office. Honestly that guy really freaked me out but his lieutenant was very nice. She was too quiet though. She only spoke when she was spoken to. It made me feel sorry that she was so weak like that. But Hitsugaya did take me with him and Mayuri started asking me weird questions. He wanted to know my blood type, how I react to different things, he even asked my favorite animal that would be likely to perform an experiment on….weirdo! I went several places with him today. It was tiring.

I settled down onto the comfy beige couch, turned over on my side and slowed my breathing so I could drift off into a nice nap. The sound of Captain's scribbling and occasional grumbling was a tune that I was beginning to fall asleep too. When I closed my eyes, I still saw him there, hunched over his desk, doing his paperwork. I was getting to know him. I knew he hated Aizen and being called short and Shiro-chan. He loved sweets and the feeling of being in charge. I could crack the code of his emerald eyes. When they brightened he was happy or in a good mood. When his pupils got bigger he was surprised or worried. The dimness of his eyes meant he was in deep thought. Every glance, every glare, I could see it all in his eyes. The only thing I never saw was sadness. That feeling was imprinted in his eyes like a tattoo, permanent. To get those eyes to lighten I would do anything. To see him smile was more then enough reason for me to try to make him happy. I tried to learn as much as I could about him without really knowing him. Too many people, their success in this area would fail miserably. Many people considered Hitsugaya a wall that you couldn't go through or see through. They just weren't trying hard enough. It took a lot of work, but I could climb that wall and catch a glimpse at him every once in awhile. I learned a lot by watching him when he wasn't looking. It was for the best, it was for my success.

I felt a paper wad hit my head and watched groggily as it bounced onto the floor.

"Get up Karidi," I groaned. _I was just drifting off to freakin' sleep!_

"I don't want to," He threw another wad at me.

"I said get up," A few mumbles and wads later, I got up and slowly walked out the door to do the job he assigned me.

"Oh and can you grab something to eat on your way back?" Hitsugaya grinned as he heard my irritated shriek from down the hall. The smile faded as a memory of Matsumoto flooded into his mind. _Rangiku…_His free hand that wasn't holding a pen clenched up. His eyes flared and his brow creased. He could hear her so familiar voice calling his name, _Hitsugaya-taicho. My Matsumoto, my lieutenant._ Letting his fist unclench, he sat back in his chair and stared at the zanpacto that lied on his couch. Matsumoto was gone. He knew that. But having someone in her place only deepened and freshened that wound that he was desperately trying to sew back together. _Pull it together, Toshiro. She's gone and you can't do anything about it._ His stomach flipped. _I should have been there; I could have made a difference._ He ran a hand through his hair and sighed._ I can't escape the past, but I don't think I'm ready to face the future._ He glanced again at the zanpacto and thought of the girl who wielded it. _That future._

The chilled air of the seretei reached beyond my hakama so that goose bumps were beginning to pop their heads from the inside my skin._ Tired, need sleep. _I carried Captain's dinner lazily so that it almost dragged on the ground as I walked. _What is wrong with me, I haven't done anything to make me this tired._ Shaking my head abruptly, I tried to wake myself up but it wasn't working. _He better be in his office or I'm going to be pissed._ Just as I thought that I heard voices behind a corner a few intersections away. In the midst of the three voices talking, I heard my name. Quickly hiding my reiatsu, I took off down on path climbed the roof and silently began walking the same path as the three voices I hear. One was unmistakably Toshiro's. I knew that the moment I finished my last thought. The others were, focusing the familiarity of the spiritual pressures and voice I concluded, Ukitake and Ichimaru. My blood turned cold as I recognized him. Every time I heard his voice I felt as if snakes had slipped up my hakama and were gliding their way across my skin. Just thinking about it made chills tingle down my spine. I listened to their conversation that I was guessing was about me.

"Hitsugaya-taicho, how is that pretty, young lieutenant of yours? Everything working out ok?" Ukitake finished his sentence and turned his head away from the men to cough into his hand. Hitsugaya didn't hesitate

"Everything is going fine. She's adjusting well. Straight from the academy to lieutenant is a big jump but I think she can handle it," Then Ichimaru spoke.

" It must be awful difficult for ya to just tink that she replaced our dear Matsumoto," Even though I wasn't even near close enough to see his face, I saw his eyes harden and his struggle to keep his composure. Ukitake shot Gin a warning glance but he merely smiled that devilish grin of his. " She sure is a pretty young thang. But it would be kinda a problem if ya were to be interested in her, wouldn't it? You two have been spending lots of time together, haven't ya?" Gin glanced down at Hitsugaya who was staring straight ahead. He knew that Hitsugaya and I were not getting along. He just wanted to get under Toshiro's skin for the same reason he got under mine, I was Masumoto's replacement.

"Well we are trying to develop a good acquaintance for the future to make sure our squad is in the best shape it can be," Ichimaru opened his mouth to speak but Hitsugaya beat him to it, "Unlike your lieutenant, mine does not have a false admiration for a Captain who once betrayed and left him alone in the worst time when he depended on his Captain. So I suggest you don't lecture me about my lieutenant," Gin's smile disappeared for a brief second, then it quickly flashed again and Ukitake shook his head. He wouldn't quit.

"Ya are already developin a relationship wit your lieutenant. Very unwise knowin dat squad 10 has sucha bad thing wit luck," Hitsugaya already disliked Gin to begin with, things were just getting worse. Toshiro snapped. Stopping dead in mid-step, he faced Ichimaru with a fire in his eyes that I never saw before. It made me flinch as I crouched on the rooftop.

"Please don't do anything stupid," I whispered to Hitsugaya even thought he couldn't hear me. But Uikitake looked up to my hiding place and I sunk farther into the shadows of the roof, keeping myself from view. Something in Ukitake's eyes blinked and he quickly tried to calm Toshiro down, he knew what was coming, but he was too late. Hitsugaya grabbed Gin's taicho hakama and lowered his face so that they were nose to nose.

"She is nothing more to me then my lieutenant! That might even be a overstatement because she's loud, sarcastic ,disobedient, lazy, uncooperative and most of all annoying! So don't assume that there is something going on between me and her because there isn't! I picked her because she would make a good asset to my squad. I needed someone who would hold my squad together. She means nothing but a subordinate who I barely know and care for to me! So don't think that I am trying to replace Rangiku because Karidi will never be as half as good as her and she sure as hell will never be as close to me as Rangiku was, never," Toshiro panted at the lost of oxygen in his lungs from yelling out at Ichimaru, who was relaxed in Hitsugaya's grip with a smile still on his face. Those eyes were burning through Hitsugaya's sockets. The fire in them kept burning, it wasn't dying down. Ukitake sighed as Ichimaru let out a small chuckle.

"Well ya wont haveta worry about havin a friendship wit Karidi. I tink she's through tryin dat," Gin tossed his head to the side so that he was also looking up into my hiding place, except I wasn't hiding. I was standing there in open view, with one hand running through my bangs while the other clenched in a fist beside me, staring down at them. I had the same glare that Hitsugaya had in his eyes. His emerald eyes widened and he let go of Ichimaru. Ukitake looked up at me pleadingly. Ichimaru chuckled a little more.

"Karidi," Toshiro gently said. I kept glaring at him. I worked to be his friend! I worked to have a good friendship! I worked to be important to him! It all just went down the drain. Even though I looked pissed off and angry on the outside, on the inside my heart was quivering and beneath my hakama, my knees were buckling. That stung. That stung deeply. My gaze left Toshiro to Ukitake who was holding a hand up in the air, beckoning me to come down. Then I looked down at the snake. His grin was flashing at me and his closed eyes were laughing._ That snake!_ But then I recalled, those words came out of my Captain's mouth. My eyes landed back on Hitsugaya who was staring up at me with worry and sadness in his eyes. It was all a show. That look was fake. Turning my body around and sparing a second longer to let my glare drill into his eyes, I let a small whisper pass my lips to hear my voice to see if it was steady. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing me break.

"I knew it," I took off into the night, leaving the three Captain's staring at my back until I was completely gone.

Toshiro's blood turned cold as Ichimaru passed him. It was tempting to just release his zanpacto and finish what he should have a long time ago. His hand itched towards it. Once he could feel the material surrounding the handle his heart pounded out of his chest. He would do it. He was ready. Ichimaru and Aizen deserve it more then anything. They hurt Hinamori, they hurt the soul society. Gin made him look like a fool and in return he just lost any admiration or respect that Karidi might have had for him. Things weren't turning out the way he planned. Everything was progressing. Karidi was starting to develop a good Captain and Vice Captain relationship. But Ichimaru had to ruin it. Ukitake quickly snapped Hitsugaya's hand away from his zanpacto but Toshiro barely noticed. He was staring into the direction of Karidi's run away route. The dark night sky reflected the expression that felt like it was slapped onto his face._ Ichimaru may have influenced me to say those things, but they came out of my own mouth....What have I done?_ Without warning he began to flash step in the same direction as his lieutenant left, leaving Ukitake in a cloud of dust coughing, staring back at him and a small smile perched upon his sickly face.

Me: *sigh*

Shiro-chan: What's wrong?

Me: I'm thinking about ur gorgeous eyes

Shiro-chan: Fangirl moment

Me: Make fun of my fangirl moments again and ill write you in a fluffy pink dress and make you dance with Mayuri-san!

Shiro-chan: No! no that's ok im sorry

Me: Now say you love that im your fangirl

Shiro-chan: no

Me: Say it. *begans typing; Hitusgaya walked into the ballroom with Mayuri on his arm awith his elegant pink dress flowing gracefully behind him. Everyone's eyes were on the happy couple.* Don't make me put yaoi in there

Shiro-chan: OK! I LOVE THAT YOU'RE MY FANGIRL!

Me: *closes one eye,smiles,holds up victory sign* hehe I win.

Shiro-chan:*mumbles* anyone but Mayuri-san


	6. Hear my words!

**I'm moving at a fast pace because there is a lot to cover and this is actually very different from my original story line. Oh well R&R plz!! 3, Rain**

The seretei was completely silent that night. Not a sound traveled through it after I witnessed the conversation of the three captains. Right now, I would rather have gone on thinking he liked me then knowing he doesn't. I ran to a certain side of the soul society, to see a certain someone. This stung more then it should have, more then I thought it could. I feel into the silent rhythm of my feet pounding against the pavement. I was the only thing still stirring abruptly on this night. _I thought everything was going fine…_I scowled myself. _Pull it together Karidi! I've gone all my life with people not liking me, why should I start worrying about it now?_ That's what surprised me the most that I cared so much. As my pathetic thinking dragged on, I just let my feet carry me to my destination. _I'll just send him the message._ Still running at an even pace, I untied the black sleek ribbon that caressed the handle of Kurohana, my zanpacto. Rising myself onto the roof of a barrack I began running on top of it. I felt like a spy, a fugitive, running her escape route. I grinned at the thought. I would be quite good at that. I slid to a stop where a window was on the side of the building. Clutching the ribbon in my hand, I flopped onto my stomach and hung over the edge of the roof, so that I could see through it. There he was, lying on his bed, reading. _Tadashi…_Just by seeing him smile at nothing made me feel a little better. _Tadashi, I'll never let you go._ There was a jagged part on the edge of the window sill. I wrapped the ribbon around it and knocked on the window. Tadashi looked up. He saw nothing but the silhouette of the signal, riding the black night, calling him from the aching loneliness that he felt more often without me. Grinning from ear to ear, he opened the window, climbed through it, snatched the ribbon and ran straight to the meeting place. He looked closely at the night horizon, and saw the shadow that he loved so much pick up speed and race off into the direction of the moon._ I'll help you get there Karidi, I promise._ After catching his breath, for he lost it seeing the love of his life diminish into the dark, he raced after her, just like he always has.

Hitsugaya paced back and forth in his office._ She'll come back sooner or later. She just needs some time to cool off. _ The instant when he turned around to see her standing there after those harsh words left his mouth, he saw the look in her eyes. She hated him now. He screwed up. _Damnit! Damn that Ichimaru!_ After a few hours of pacing and pondering, he sat in his chair. Ruffling a hand through his snow-white hair, he sighed as he slumped in his chair. _Things were just beginning to look up, now they aren't going to go anywhere but down. Masumoto…what-what would you do?_ She honestly and truly tried to make everything better, and all he did was smash it back in her face, even thought he didn't mean it. He thought she was smart, funny, sarcastic, a leader, and a good follower. Yeah she had a bad attitude at times but she wasn't annoying. Sometimes he actually found himself enjoying her company, even if a word did not pass either of their lips. _That damn traitor! Aizen and Ichimaru can burn in hell for all I care!_ The heart wrenching experiences that Aizen put them through played back in his mind. The muscles in his neck bunched as he grew angry. _I despise traitors._ Then something caught his eye as it fluttered across the air in front of him. It was a pink flower petal. It landed on the back of Histugaya's hand. _Pink…Matsumoto. _He let a smile escape from inside himself and settle on his angelic face. _Help me my Rangiku. Help me set things right._ He hurt Karidi. He knew it, but he was going to fix things. For his squad, for the safety of the soul society, for himself, and most of all for Karidi, he was going to fix this mess._ It's time to move on._ Reaching for the window behind him, he opened it, still with the petal resting on his other hand. The wind picked up and it made his hair ruffle. He closed his emerald eyes and took a deep breath. _My Rangiku, I'll never forget. _At the same time as his shoulders felt as if the weight of her death was lifted off, the petal glided of his skin and into the flowing air. He watched it go along with any resentment he had toward Karidi. It was time to start over. She would be his fresh start.

I stood just outside his office door. _I have to do this. I have to show him that I don't take shit from no one. _My heart was pounding out of my chest as I reached for the handle. The courage that Tadashi and I enflamed inside me began to travel through my veins, spreading through my entire body. _Come on Karidi, it's now or never. Make it work._ She inhaled deeply and when she closed her eyes she saw his emerald one's flash inside the darkness of her sacred mind._ I'm ready._

The door opened with a slam and a startled Hitsugaya looked up to find his lieutenant standing there. With a passion and fire in his eyes that looked so familiar yet so different. My hair was tangled and wild. Sweat was rolling down my arms and neck. Was I nervous? Hell yeah I was! He got up quickly and shuffled towards me. I almost forgot how angry I was when his cooling eyes settled on me but I kept it going. I had to let it out. I had to.

"Karidi, Karidi listen to me-" I slammed the door shut and he stopped in mid-sentence.

"No you listen! I am sick and tired of being treated this way!"

"Karidi let me-"

"No! You already spoke your piece now it's my turn. I may be all those things to you but let me tell you something, I am as loyal to you as ever." Toshiro stepped forward." I have tried so hard to get your acceptance because I really want to make this work. I have dreamt of this job, of this position since I first decided to become a soul reaper. And when I get here what do I find?" He opened his mouth but I quickly cut him off " I find a nightmare where the second person that I really want to matter to doesn't give a damn about me,"

"Karidi I-" He grabbed my wrist in a desperate attempt to calm me down but I was boiling over. I swung my arms around slamming Hitsugaya into the nearest wall. A crack formed behind his head

"Just because you don't like me doesn't me I have to stop doing my job. So don't think for one second that I will let that happen. I don't quit. I don't give in. And I sure as hell never betray someone that I am loyal to." I became out of breath as I pinned Toshiro's shoulders into the wall and I stared into his emerald eyes. That position wasn't helping the breathing. Hitsugaya would have never let anyone talk to him that way. Never attack him like that. But he thought I deserved a break.

"I'm ready to give my life for you. I'm ready to do whatever you say to stay by your side. So please, let me in. I know I'll never be Matsumoto, but I can be your lieutenant. Your reliable, loyal lieutenant." Hitsugaya smiled at me. My heart skipped a beat.

"You know, you could of just said that instead of yelling at me and, well, slam me into a wall" She chuckled a little. "I want to make this work Karidi. It's time to re-build this squad, and your going to be by my side to help me." I let go of his shoulders and he moved his right one around.

"Sorry about that," I looked down at my feet. He settled his eyes on me and with two fingers he lifted my chin and looked me in the eye. A tingly feeling traveled through my stomach.

"Don't worry about it." He let go of my chin and began walking towards the door. "Get some sleep Karidi. We have a big day tomorrow." I watched as he went and he lef the door open for me. _We…Captain, I make a promise to you. To never leave your side, I swear. So don't ever leave mine._

**So what do you think? Now things are really going to unfold. R&R's plz! 3, Rain**


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